What do you want socially?

Hey! Craig here—

As you grow, so do your goals.

When I was young and just starting out in the world of communication and social skills, the only thing that mattered to me was that I could get a girlfriend.

I never had a date.

I didn't go to prom.

I never flirted with a girl.

and I never heard any whispers that someone had a crush on me.

I wanted to be loved.

It was something that I felt was important, but as a clueless young man, I had no idea how to even attract a young woman.

But I feared rejection. I'd built it up to be a monster under my bed.

To me, being rejected meant certain demise of my social life. It meant that I am not worthy of love.

So I avoided it at all costs... until I reached a point just above my lowest low- desperation.

So I tried to give it a shot. I worked up the courage to ask out the girl who worked at the lazertag place that my friends and I went to every weekend.

And she dumped me on our second date. Not only did she not want to date me, but she wasn't even friendly to me afterward.

I felt so rejected. One for one. 100% of the women I expressed interest in didn't want to be around me.

The melodrama of my youth led me to believe that this was the end of the world. I was at rock bottom.

I felt completely alone.

But with that experience, I had to look at myself and realize that there was nothing I had in this world except myself.

The social scarcity in my life was a result of my own creation.

..and in order to change that, I needed to change what I was doing.

So I decided to study social dynamics to improve my life.

As I studied the theory of communication and practiced the art of social skills

and as I used what I learned, my social life improved until the original goal of getting a girlfriend became realized.

And then I had a breakup. :(

And I was back to square one.

But kept going until I did it again and had a new girlfriend..

and then I had another breakup.

But I started over again...

And I realized at that point that I had no problem getting a girlfriend anymore. If I really wanted one, I could get one. The act was proven to be the equivalent effort of taking a semester-long class.

Over the course of my social journey, I've had plenty of amazing girlfriends and dating experiences, and the thing that once mattered most to me— getting the girl— became so much of an abundance in my life that it was no longer the most important thing to me.

The monster that haunted me became a distant memory.

Through facing my personal struggles, I built my skills, and my weakness became my strength.

And I was left with the question:

What do I do now?

With that change in paradigm, I found that there were other things I wanted to improve at.

Over the course of the next decade, I tested the limits of what was capable for me, socially.

I've approached and charmed stranger after stranger. I've talked my way into VIPs and private executive meetings. I've become a leader. I've managed communities. I've influenced the culture of multiple organizations. I've built teams and I've coached high performers. I've networked and negotiated. I've gone viral on the internet. I've made the deepest connections in the unlikeliest of places.

It's all possible.

You can do it too.

Are you aiming high enough?

What should you be doing that you aren't?

I really want to know.